I typed out an ill-advised missive on Twitter last night before bed about the tragedy in Fort Hood. I have deleted the comment since, as it turns out, it was unintentionally inflammatory, and I didn’t exactly word things well with my 140 characters. I made a comment along the lines that I feel sort of bad for what Nidal Malik Hasan went through, being harassed and working within a broken system, and can understand why he might snap. Er… yeah.
What I meant was, I can understand some of the pressures that Hasan seemed to be going through. According to his family, he felt harassed for being Muslim, he’d recently received a poor performance evaluation, was about to be deployed to combat, he had ethical conflicts with US policy, and his complaints had all been dismissed. He was single with no kids and had few friends. Similarly, at Columbine, the kids were outsiders, picked on, mercilessly bullied and felt nobody cared, then one day, they snapped. No, it’s not politically correct to say so, but the fact is, anybody that’s been bullied knows the frustration and humiliation that led up to that murder spree. Doesn’t make it right, but it does make you think.
I know what it’s like to have ethical problems with your workplace, and the feelings of desperation you have to get out. I was 20+ years on the job, won multiple awards, was well respected among my peers and coworkers, but when the corporation experienced a tectonic shift in priorities filled with personal agendas, all of my achievements became secondary as I was sidelined (and extremely unhappy). I finally decided to quit my job because, unlike Hasan (who was enlisted in the military), I had the freedom to walk away from Initech’s idiotic bureaucracy as a free citizen. I should also mention, I never thought for one moment about turning my fury at Initech against my coworkers via gunfire. I have not even spoken publicly against my former employer as, for me, it isn’t worth the wasted air.
The reports coming in over the last 12 hours or so have painted a very conflicted portrait of Hasan, but one I’ve seen at Initech time and time again. He is, by all accounts, highly educated doctor, a psychiatrist who—ironically—specialized in soldier stress and PTSD cases. He was generally well liked and considered pretty easygoing (except in matters of his faith, or so they say). He was a decorated soldier who had recently been promoted, but, contrarily, also received a low performance appraisal. That makes no sense. You don’t get promoted the same year you get a poor performance appraisal. He was, also, not some young impulsive kid—he was almost 40. He calmly walked into a convenience store the morning of the attacks for chit chat and coffee.
Doesn’t sound like someone ready to commit mass murder, does it? Further proof that the weird walk among us every day.
Additionally, having close friends and family in the military, I know how they work—the hypocrisy, and the cruelties of the system are not unlike Initech. You’d think the military would be better organized and evenhanded, but they’re not. It’s amazing that anything gets done in the first place. Just like Initech, the military has many good, honest, decent people who are just trying to do the right thing, but they also have their share of people willing to turn a blind eye or make back door deals so that problems requiring extra paperwork get shoved to the bottom of the pile. They also have their fair share of out-and-out whackjobs who walk the halls disguised as normal people except to those who really know them. As amazing as it sounds, just because a person is in the military or has a security clearance doesn’t mean they don’t have troubled backgrounds or are just plain weird or batshit crazy. I assure you, it happens all the time. Look at Robert Hanssen, the former FBI agent/spy for the Russians who, despite being a total weirdo, had worked his way to a pretty well-respected career and was even assigned to a program that (turns out) investigated his own case. I mean, seriously. It takes a very special kind of stupid to allow that sort of thing to happen.
The military supposedly has stopgaps in place to prevent mentally ill people from serving—they don’t always work. They have programs to help alleviate combat stress, where every military member is supposed to be free to seek help without repercussions to their career. Yet, very few soldiers seek help because if they do, that illness is then stamped on their military record and effects them forever (they can be denied promotions, given unpleasant duties, transferred to undesirable assignments, denied clearances). The entire program is set up to fail.
Okay, where am I going with this?
I do not know Hasan, nor do I think what he did was okay, excusable, or legitimate (I may be a self-proclaimed bitch, but I’m not a heartless asshole). But as with the tragedy at Columbine, I think he was under pressure, extremely disturbed, and somebody should have intervened long before this happened. How did he get his assignment? Why was he promoted? Why was he being deployed to combat theater? Where were the stopgaps? There was something going on in Hasan that points to a ‘bigger picture’ type problem. You simply don’t go from being a happy, decorated, recently-promoted officer to a nutjob mass murderer on the flip of a coin.
My heart goes out to the victims and their families who were serving their country and doing the right thing. I applaud the heroes of the day—the police officers and first responders, the soldiers who bandaged the wounded under gunfire. They are amazing, and I hope they are duly rewarded for their bravery.
I also hope I never have to write another article like this one again. What is wrong with this world?
"If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one."
—Dolly Parton
