Gee, thanks for the offer, but…

While I normally have very few readers and even fewer comments on this blog (zero so far), WordPress was so kind as to intercept one comment that it considered “spam”. The suspected spam was from someone offering me help for my addiction problem.

Was it spam, or was it a genuine offer of help?

As spam, I say, fuck off. I don’t need your help, Mr. Spam Writer. I have all the “help” I need, thank you very much. I have all the doctors at my disposal that are either alternatively terrified to prescribe anything at all for fear that I will sue should I become addicted, or doctors who are so dissociated from the problem, they don’t care what they prescribe as long as it gets me out of their office quickly. I have an insurance company that doesn’t give a rat’s ass, who would rather pay for me to go to Promises rehab facility like Lindsay Lohan, than pay for me to have a simple MRI test that would isolate the problem that’s causing me pain. I have friends who either ignore me or call only when they need something. I have a job that pays well but is creatively bankrupt. I have customers who complain about things that are not my fault. I have colleagues who try to take advantage of me, then get mad when I don’t let them. I have parents who are dead; siblings who might as well be. I am drowning in bills moreso than I have been in years. I have a show that is going up in eight weeks and no way to pay for it. I have taxes due in a month and no way to pay for them. I have gained so much weight that I can’t fit in any of my clothes anymore. My best friend and I recently broke up and got back together, but I can’t allow myself to get close to him or trust him, else risk getting hurt again. I have no children nor husband, and the closer I get to 40, the less chance I have of that ever happening.

And let’s see, oh yeah, I take vic’s so I can control my constant pain. Only, these white wonders seem to be causing an unexpected pall of depression, so I’ve had to cut way back on those too, just so I don’t kill myself and leave a mess for other people to clean up.

But if it was a genuine offer of help, I appreciate it, but no thanks. It’ll take a lot more than a link to a website to cure what ails me.