Dog Whisperer Tames Human, news at 11

I’m doing much better mood-wise today. I’m attributing this to getting some exercise, skipping the chips, and downing a couple of B-Complex vitamins.

Exercise. With all my free vacation time, I’ve been watching excess episodes of “The Dog Whisperer” on National Geographic. I’m taking Cesar Millan’s advice both for my dog and for myself. Since my dog’s near-fatal encounter with a bag of dark chocolate in October, and his subsequent traumatic stay at the e-vet, he’s been experiencing a lot of anxiety when left alone (and at other times), so I’ve been searching for help. The show is particularly timely since my dog’s anxiety and mine seem more closely related than ever lately.

Cesar’s approach to dog rehabilitation involves Exercise, Discipline, Affection (in that order). Like most dog owners, I’m great at the affection part. Pretty regular on the discipline too. Exercise, however, has been sorely lacking—just like most homes. On thing Cesar feels is key to any dog-human relationship is mastering the walk. This is not the heel-walk I’m used to, but a purposeful bonding exercise at least one hour per day that underlines human as pack leader and dog as follower in traveling mode. It also has the bonus side effect of not only burning off anxious energy, but accomplishing desperately needed cardiovascular exercise for both lazy human and homebound dog.

Our first walk at 6am featured me and my new pobbed haircut as the sulking, sleepy, grumpy human wearing pajamas, boots, and an overcoat, and my dog as the overexcited, haven’t-been-on-a-proper-walk-in-a-year, happy pooch. It took him about thirty seconds to remaster the concept of walking on lead, and half a block to quit testing me by pulling away to smell and pee on every blade of grass peeking out from the low, snowy covering. I slipped and almost fell on black ice about a dozen times and grumbled the entire way about the cold and dark and damp. However, when we were done, we both felt like we’d accomplished something big. Really big. I got out of the house to exercise; he got to go walkies, which used to be one of his favorite activities. Good things all around.

Skipping the Chips. Let’s face it: for the past two-and-a-half months since the breakup, it’s been all about comfort food. Chips, ice cream, whatever I want, whenever I want it. My weight’s paid the price for my indulgence, and so has my tummy. I’ve discovered that chips seem to be a particular problem; while I love-love-love them, they lie in my stomach like sludge for hours (the excess fat slows the breakdown of the chips). I’m pretty sure they’re the source of my frequent heartburn, and their high carbohydrates are probably contributing to my emotional instability. Today, I cut them out altogether. No heartburn.

B-Complex. I ran across a bottle of vitamins that I used to take about a year ago when I was still doing Atkins. I remembered how, combined with the diet, they always seemed to help me feel better, stabilize my moods a little, and feel a bit more energized. Sounds crazy, right? I know, I know. But you can’t argue with success—somehow I managed to get my fat bottom off the sofa at 6am for a walk in the cold and rain. You can’t argue with success.

Cesar Millan has been a fascinating and inspirational watch. Observing the fluidity and confidence of his body language—he is like a dancer. Solid, yet molten. He immediately communicates both control and optimism. He always smiles. Always has a positive outlook, even through the most difficult cases with the crankiest owners. I’m sure that isn’t always the case for him off-camera, but this is exactly what I want to emulate. This is who I want to be perceived as. Whether with my dog, or with my life, I want to reestablish my role as the pack leader.

I’m hoping this is the start of some positive changes that will carry over into 2008.