One sick bastard

I am sick of being sick. This sucks! UNCLE! I’m ready to get well, please, I’ve had enough!

Looking back, 1998 seems to have been a pivotal year for me in numerous ways. For instance, I recalled this morning that 1998 was also the last time I was near death’s door due to the flu. Back then, it was Swine flu out of Japan. I was much worse off than I am right now, of course, burning up with 104 degree fever for days, catching secondary infections that lasted weeks. All told, I was out of work for about three weeks and among the walking wounded for about two months. It was hell.

I never believed in the flu shot until that year. I pooh-poohed it as a way for the drug companies to make a quick buck on nationwide panic, and that the shots were just a worthless panacea.

I was in the middle of serious vocal training in 1998, planning to audition for big opera houses in the spring and summer. When I caught the Swine flu, it ended up dashing all my plans that year (my voice was no good for months). I am still convinced I caught it because my chain-smoking vocal teacher had so many school kids coming and going through his studio, but however it happened, it happened.

To say I almost died would not necessarily be an understatement—or at least, I sure wished I would either die or live, just as long as my body picked sides. I had all kinds of infections on top of the flu—conjunctivitis, kidney infections, yeast infections, ear infections, even a bad case of dandruff, all because it decimated my immune system. Then, as now, I stayed home and nursed myself, going to the doctor’s office, but refusing to go to the hospital. After all, who would take care of my dog, my mail, my house? Nobody but me. Such is the glamorous life of the singleton.

When I finally came out of it and returned to work, it took weeks to get back to any semblance of normal. I was exhausted all the time. I was fuzzy-headed and unable to think clearly. There were a few charming long-term side effects that I had to deal with. For instance, since then, every time I catch even a slight case of the sniffles, it goes straight to my throat and causes complete laryngitis. Absolutely no good for a singer, that’s for sure! Also, for some reason, every time I get sick, my whole body smells like spoiled urine (and it doesn’t go away until I’m well). Perfume anyone? Like I said… glamorous.

Also, every year since 1998, I have never missed a single annual flu shot. I learned my lesson on that one. But THIS is what happens when the makers of the flu shots don’t get the formula right. Miss one strain and POW! Half the company is using up their sick and vacation times.

Some vacation!