10 random thoughts rattling around in my noodle

Sometimes I have so many topics on my mind, they pour out through the keyboard into a multitude of posts in one day. Other times, I can’t think of a darn thing to write about that’s worth exploring in more detail than a passing thought. In honor of the latter, I present the following random thoughts:

1. The Gary Coleman divorce. How do you make a tragic and pathetic personal life even worse? Add insult to injury by dragging it before the nation’s public on “Divorce Court” and making a salacious spectacle of yourself. Self-loathing never had a bigger poster boy than Gary Coleman. Poor thing.

2. I hate my job. Ah, an oldie but a goodie. The latest fly in the ointment is that one of our former interns (the junior member of our team, aka “print boy”) has dreams of being a designer like yours truly someday. He went to our boss and asked for—and received—a top-of-the-line computer system (much better than even I have) and two (yes two) thirty inch monitors. He’s the cock-of-the-walk today, so much so he actually interrupted my meeting with a client to add his two cents to the mix. I almost lost my shit on him. Boy’s gotta be taken down a peg or two, but the catch-22 is, if I’m leaving anyway, do I really care enough to raise a fuss about it? Is it worth it?

3. Being treated like a Wal-Mart greeter. My cubicle is closest to the door, so when clients come in (we don’t have a secretary anymore) they stand outside my cubicle wall and wait for me to acknowledge their presence. My boss is mad at me for not greeting them, but I keep telling him, it’s not my job. Hire a fucking secretary.

4. Weird weather. A few days ago, it was 80 degrees and I was dying from the heat. Now it’s 20 degrees and I had to flip the furnace back on. Spring needs to make up its mind!

5. TheatreX wants me to consult. Some of their staff wants to sit down with me next week to discuss some “brainstorms” they’ve come up with to market the theater and “ways that we can help you more than we do!” The wording of that scares me. I’m probably just paranoid (working where I do), but I smell an agenda here. I’m trying to turn the place into classy champagne and caviar, but they do their damnedest to turn it back into corndogs on a stick.

6. Uncle Crazypants is recovering nicely; Aunt Crazypants is still crazy. I called her this afternoon to check in with her, and here was her response: “Oh, thank you for calling Margaret. Nobody calls me. I’m so lonely.” So I asked if she’d heard from anyone else today. “Oh yes,” she replied, “my son called me about six times and one of Uncle’s friends called about four times.” She doesn’t even remember our conversation yesterday. This woman isn’t right in the head at all.

7. I’m fat. Again, not exactly a news flash, but it’s getting difficult to move around. I’m out of breath climbing one flight of stairs—one!—that’s just wrong. I force myself to jog up the stairs now because I’m so insulted that my body is so out of shape.

8. American Idol is boring me. Admittedly, I just tuned in a couple of weeks ago, but given the lackluster performances this week, I’m remembering why I quit watching in the first place. Damn! The best you guys could do is Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield? Seriously? The songs this week were bo-ring and completely forgettable. Hope next week is better.

9. I watched The Pixar Story yesterday. The documentary follows the perils and pitfalls of the famous animation studio from John Lasseter’s first wide-eyed day at college through his first wide-eyed day at Disney studios through the company’s wide-eyed triumph with hit after hit in animated features. The thing that struck me the most was how their organization runs—moreover, how different it is from where I work now. How creativity is nurtured and relished and encouraged. Great talent is given great chances. You work hard, but you play hard too. That’s the kind of job I want. Most people want to kick back and earn a paycheck for doing nothing. I want to earn mine and keep it by doing great work. I need to work at a place like Pixar. Hmm… I wonder if they’re hiring?

10. Chicks that look like dudes confuse me. I realize this is probably an unpopular thought, but what’s with lipstick lesbians who go for chicks who look like dudes? I understand gays. I understand trannies. I don’t get the gays that look like trannies but aren’t. Cynthia Nixon (Sex and the City) is dating a woman who looks like a dude—and I don’t think it’s insulting to say that since that’s the look she’s going for (and succeeding admirably!). But honestly… I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that, to each his own and all, but if you’re gonna go for chicks, then go for chicks, right? I guess I just don’t get it. It’s like Monty Python: it’s not made for me, so I don’t need to get it. Still, for a chick, Rojo Caliente is one helluva dude.