The Great Weight Debate

Oh the problems that go along with being fat!

You’ve got your high blood pressure, sugar intolerance (potential diabetes), getting easily winded, swollen ankles, insomnia, digestive problems, and negative self-image not to mention lack of good fashion, jewelry that doesn’t fit, and generalized social pariah-ism—just to name a few associated difficulties. 

So if it’s all that bad, why don’t more people simply diet and get thin? Are we all just stupid or something?

I’ve debated this topic more times than I care to get into, but suffice to say, it’s not that simple. Some people become overwhelmingly disgusted by the self-imposed helplessness of the obese. Believe me, the battle is no less frustrating from the inside. Whatever nasty things people might say about me and my lard ass, I’m sure I’ve said much worse to myself.

Plus, being in the entertainment field, people notice fluctuations in weight even more so and are just that much more unforgiving about it. The most amusing and least depressing rumor going around is that HWSNBN got me pregnant then dumped me when I gained too much weight. I like that one! You’ve gotta love the wild inaccuracies of the gossip mongers!

Anyway, a friend of mine recently went in for gastric-bypass surgery on the sly, without telling anyone but her closest family members. My friend probably weighs close to 400 pounds and has battled obesity all her life. She lost half her body weight on Atkins a few years ago, and kept it off (like me) until recently when she ballooned back up again. Since the surgery, she’s lost about 40 pounds so far, but not without some difficulty (namely, she developed pneumonia within the first week after recovering from surgery). It was the hardest decision of her life, and she hopes it’s the last time she’ll ever have to make it. She’s in her fifties, so it isn’t as if she’s out to find love and a family. She just wants to be healthier.

Me? I don’t think I could ever do that. To face a lifetime of eating spoonfuls of baby food or small sips of water—because of my own lack of discipline—terrifies me. However, my friend’s experience has forced me to face what’s going on and start seriously thinking about where the road of obesity is leading me.

Someone recently said to me that “living like this isn’t a way to live—it’s a way to die.” With all I’ve been going through lately, the last thing I want to be my legacy on this earth is that I died friendless, loveless, and fat. Oh my God! How lame would that be?

The last time I went to see Dr. Feelgood, he gave me my usual Rx’es for my White Wonders and Sleeping Pills, but also included a high blood pressure medicine. “You really need to think about getting your blood pressure under control now before it gets much higher,” he cautioned.

“What I really need to do is get some lard off my ass,” I spoke frankly as I always do, “Let’s face it: that’s the real issue. I didn’t have this problem until I got fat. I always had perfect blood pressure. I know that once I go back on Atkins, it’ll all go back to normal.”

“Well,… are you planning to do that soon?” he queried, “because I’m worried. This really can’t wait.”

“Um… well…,” the excuses began flooding my mind. I’m too busy. I’m too poor. I’m too tired. I don’t want to. It’s too much effort. My refrigerator needs to be cleaned out. It’s blueberry season. It’s summer. I like ice cream. I want to go to breakfast at Denny’s tomorrow and eat pancakes. After all, if a person is looking for an excuse, it’s not hard to find one. “Well, I know I have to lose weight, so I’m sure I’ll get my shit together and do it sooner rather than later.”

“If you want, I could write you a prescription to help you lose weight,” Dr. Feelgood offered, “I have patients that have had very good success with it. Even losing ten percent of your weight would help your blood pressure a lot.” He offered to write the script for phentermine, a very effective diet pill that I was on many years ago.

“Thanks Doc, but I know if I put my mind to it, I’ll get the job done naturally.” Me? Turning down meds? Yes, believe it or not, I don’t take everything that’s offered to me (many years ago, I had a doctor offer to put me on daily doses of morphine to control my migraines, but I turned him down, so believe me, it does happen). 

I gathered up my three scripts and went on my merry way. That was three months ago. While I’ve taken the pain meds and the sleeping meds regularly, I’ve been noncompliant in taking the BP medication with any regularity, hence my BP is still too high (about 148/95). I have also continued feeling more and more ill, had more frequent headaches, and had interesting little aberrations like having my left leg swell up to three times its size for no good reason. Pretty bad, huh?

But is it enough to shake me out of my tree?

That’s what I’ve been debating. Yes, I could employ the old adage of “eat less, exercise more” because yes, it does work, but only if you stick to it. The whole trick with dieting and exercise is not what you eat—pay attention kiddies because I’m speaking the truth here: there is no miracle diet—but in finding something you will comply with for a lifetime. Problem is, I’m not in a good, solid footing in my life right now to make any of these changes on my own.

So, I have decided, I need help.

When I see Dr. Feelgood again tomorrow afternoon for my checkup, I’m going to ask him to add in that diet medication onto my growing list of prescriptions despite my initial reservations. If you’re clinging to a cliffside for fear of falling, you still need to let go to grab the rescue rope. You’ll never get rescued if you keep hanging there.

It’s the same theory behind my moving into this new cubicle: change the environment, change the activity. I’ve been in a bit of a better mood since moving into the new cube. Being right across from Cee hasn’t been too much of a problem yet, and I’ve been more inspired to get more work done (present activity excepted). If the theory carries over, taking the diet meds should jump-start my brain too and kick it into a different groove. I’ll be less likely to eat and more likely to engage in physical activity of some kind—which means getting more done and feeling a lot less sorry for myself.

Improvement in mind, body, and spirit. Always a good thing.