The Fat Actress and The Guffman Project

A couple of years ago, there was this amusing little series on Showtime called “Fat Actress”.

I always thought Kirstie Alley was one of the most stunningly beautiful women in the world—those pale green eyes, high cheekbones, and eyebrows so sharp they could slice steel! I always wanted to look like her, so it’s kind of ironic that now I do… just not quite the way I’d hoped.

I loved watching the wacky antics of fat ol’ Kirstie Alley week to week in Fat Actress as she maintained this delusional sense of grandiosity, alternately sucking up to and railing against the entertainment system that rejected her when she got fat, but which could never quite come to terms with telling her why. I must have been alone in that fandom because ratings were abysmal and the series was shortly canceled after only one season.

Still, I think of her often as I face my own Fat Actress experiences.

This afternoon, I heard from Joe—surprise!—the Guffman Project is moving forward, just as I predicted, with their “super duper exclusive by invitation only” closed auditions starting next week.

Joe, not HWSNBN, called to officially invite yours truly this afternoon—which is either a good sign or a bad sign depending on how you look at it. I should probably be honored to have his little troupe’s approval (and not just the director’s), but always the pessimist, I see the fact that HWSNBN didn’t call me himself as slightly insulting. But, then again, maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Even though I should have obvious hesitations, like HWSNBN said, “it might be fun”. Even if it goes no further than this, the auditions will be super-duper extra-rich fodder for the blog, so I’ll play along. What the hell? Nothing like an evening of pretentious wannabe actors desperate to be in the next “big thing” (HAH) who are all vying for just a handful of spots. Next week Thursday is the big day.

Kirstie, if you’re out there somewhere, I’m thinking of you!

Below: A clip of me—er, I mean Kirstie—trying to find a pair of pants that fit. Awesome.