10 easy ways to be your designer’s worst nightmare

I must make it look easy, because it seems like in the past few years, everybody thinks they can do my job.

This is a source of much consternation for me and many other designers. I’ve written extensively about this topic because it bothers me so much. I would love to hand out some advice to other designers who, like myself, have been forced to deal with clients like this, but I can’t. There are no easy answers. The best way is to learn to sniff out clients like these early on, make your excuses, and refuse the job. But, it’s not always that simple. We designers have to pay the bills, and sometimes, despite any red flags, we take on work that we probably shouldn’t. Today’s “normal” eager client can become tomorrow’s nightmare.

Problems always stem from a lack of trust or communication. This is avoidable if both parties are willing to discuss matters thoroughly like adults. If you’re a control freak, set aside your need to be in charge. If you’re passive, step up to the plate, set boundaries, and ask questions. Grow up.

Thus, in the interests of good communication, I present a list of things that clients should NEVER say nor do when working with their designers. All are based on actual events that have happened to me (more than once, I might add).

I REPEAT, DO NOT:

1. Tell the designer you’d be happy to send them everything “ready to go” so all they have to do is “slap it together”. Professional design is a collaborative process; everybody has a role and as long as you do your job and I do mine, everything will go smoothly. What I as a designer need from you as the client is information—unless I ask for it, I don’t need you to find photos, invent slogans, edit video, or find graphics—and I don’t even need you to write copy. In return, I promise not to “slap” anything together. Designers create useful visual information. If you go into the process assuming that you don’t trust me to handle it, find somebody else.
2. Ask the designer to “jazz up” something you did in PowerPoint or Word. First, coming up with ideas to start the conversation is fine—designers welcome that. But don’t expect to run the project or you will effectively run it into the ground. What you created is not what I would create, not in a million years. I’m not here to dress up your work and make it pretty. Second, designers do not work in PowerPoint unless it’s for a presentation. Last, don’t tell me to use Times, Arial, or Comic Sans (nor is it advisable to start a game of Name-That-Font; you will lose). Don’t even get me started on the font thing.
3. Pay your designer to create a marketing campaign, then redo everything yourself afterward. You asked around, you researched, then you hired me and trusted my expertise to do this project for you and do it right. You were ready for your company to look awesome, so you paid me a lot of your company’s money to sweat over the details for you. It came out awesome and you loved it! Then, you got it home and decided, “Hey, this looks easy! I can do this!”, so you sat down at your PC, opened up Word, and whipped out something you think looks just like it, only more awesome. Uh, no. There is a reason you are not a designer. Do you know what kerning is? What a ligature is? Do you like to play with filters and colors, but can’t decide which one is right so you use them all? Do you follow every trend? Yeah, well, then step away from your PC and let the snooty designers with their shiny Macs handle it. Then again, if the problem is that you didn’t like what the designer came up with, feel free to pay your bill and move on to the next guy. But, no, you shouldn’t do it yourself. As with lawyers, if you designed it yourself, you have a fool for a client.
4. Ask your designer to teach you how to do “that web stuff”. As I said, design is a collaborative process—you do your job, I do mine—and together we come up with something great. This is essential to the process. However, you need to stay on your side of the fence if we’re going to be good neighbors. I appreciate that what I do looks like fun to you, but it’s my bread and butter, not fun. I spent a lot of money on this software and hardware (and how!), and an inordinate amount of my youth learning to do this job better than anyone else (and Mom and Dad didn’t pay a dime—I did!). So as I don’t do this in my spare time as a hobby, please don’t treat me as if I do. I sure as hell ain’t telling you everything I know for free because it was never free for me. Go suck a lemon.
5. Tell your designer that your cousin (nephew/grandson/son/daughter/friend, etc) does “this web stuff” on their computer for a fraction of what that designer is charging and it’s just as good. Look, pal: you get what you pay for. If you want to hire your 16-year old cousin who has a cracked copy of Photoshop on their PC and uses free templates to make you a quickie website and logo for $50, then go for it. But be warned, what you get is a $50 website that ain’t worth spit. Can’t be trademarked, can’t be copyrighted, and if that cousin stole some of the graphics or written copy from the web and you get caught, you’re screwed. Professional designers are not hobbyists. We don’t dabble. You are paying for our education, our expertise, and our years of experience to anticipate your needs. Consider that the basic software we use retails at $2500 (ask me, I just bought it). So if all you have to spend is $50, be my guest: hire your cousin.
6. Tell the designer they’re lucky they get to fool around all day instead of working like you do. Yeah, you’re going to win a lot of congeniality awards with that line. Why some people think this is flattering, I will never know.
7. Ask the designer to give you an estimate of how much things will cost without discussing it first. I’ll tell you right now, everything will cost more than $50 if you hire a pro. Each firm will have different fees based on their geographic location, overhead, staff load, and experience, so it’s hard to pick a figure out of the air. But if you want ballpark figures, do your own homework and check out a copy of the Graphic Artists Guild Handbook of Pricing and Ethical Guidelines. For instance, everybody wants a website these days. Generally speaking, you can bet on a couple of thousand dollars for a relatively basic website and if you need something more complex (i.e., interactivity, retail checkout, etc.,) expect that figure to double, triple, or quadruple—or more. Remember, this is an investment in your company, not you spending your own money on something frivolous, so treat it, and the designers you talk to, with respect. Some design firms will offer a first-time customer discount (or small business discount, etc.,) especially if they, themselves, are startups, but don’t presume anything—and don’t be a jerk and play one design firm off another. That’s just dirty pool.
8. Tell the designer you found some graphics and free templates on the web that you’d like them to use to “make things easier”. You think you are helping but you are not; you are strangling the project and shutting down ideas (not to mention frustrating everyone within earshot). Go into every meeting with an open mind, provide insight, and let the designer do what they do. Don’t insist that things be a particular color or size or shape unless there’s a real reason for it. Professional designers know what they’re doing. They will ask you for guidance to make sure things are right, but they don’t need you to be intrusive on the process—so don’t call them every half hour asking how it’s going. I can’t tell you the number of clients who have said to me, “I can’t help it; I’m a control freak.” Okay, well, now’s the time to grow up and get over that. Don’t use your inability to trust as an excuse to drive everybody else crazy.
   
9. Ask your designer to send you their original artwork so you can “fix” it for them. An absolute no-no. Do not ask to work in tandem with your designer or stand over their shoulder to show them what you want; it’s massively insulting. As far as requesting the Photoshop (or other) files after the job is done, this isn’t normally done. This should be defined right in your contract—what you own, and what the designer owns—almost always, you as the client own the final product or imagery only, not the working files. Some designers will sell you the working files for an additional fee, but don’t presume they’re yours.
10. Take credit for the designer’s work and ideas. Ahh… the ultimate job kill. Yes, it was your idea to hire me. Congratulations. And yes, yours was the lightbulb in some closed-door meeting to market your company’s anniversary year with a brochure. Kudos. But the work itself? Give credit where credit is due. You did not sweat over which Pantone shade is the correct one for the logo (PMS286 or PMS287? Arrgh!). The cover art was not your idea. You weren’t even there when I spent hours researching and copywriting mountains of text because all you sent me were a few bullet items to “get me started” (then argued with me about where to place the commas in the text). Or sleepless nights wondering if the format should be 8×8 or 8×10. And you didn’t get out of bed at 11pm the night before the project was due because your nightmare client sent a “few” last minute changes that required a complete rework of the entire project. If you have a good product in your hand at the end, let people know where it came from—and if I see my work in your portfolio, you will be hearing from my lawyers.

In conclusion, yes, design can be fun. Let’s keep it that way by doing the jobs we were assigned. Hey, if you really do have a passion for doing my job, and you’ve always dreamed about “playing” all day with this art stuff, then I encourage you to go to college, spend the time, money, and energy to learn to do it right. Then you too can argue about whether or not $50 is a fair price for a website.