February 21st I almost died. Almost. I went into the hospital with fainting spells — turned out my heart was quitting my ass because of all the OTC medication I was using to maintain my sobriety. I was pretty much written off as dead for the first three days. Shocked back to life more times than I can count..
I can’t give too many details about the case because apparently I’m now famous in the annals of medicine. I survived a fatal cardiac condition. Only problem was, once it was clear that I wasn’t in too much danger anymore, I was sprung from the hospital and am now staying with the lady who let me stay with her over the summer because I’m too weak and incapable of caring for myself.
I’m ridiculously weak — but am expected to go back to work on Monday. How do you like that? I have NO idea how I’m going to do this.
So now I’m completely free, clear, and sober with no meds in my system at all. My pupils are HUGE! LOL! That’s a hard thing to get used to when walking by a mirror. They’re as big as they are in the above photo. I don’t recognize myself.
But my whole body feels like it’s done 9 rounds with the champ. I’m weak as a kitten — no energy at all. And covered in bruises from the various IVs and stuff I was poked with.
So many prayers came my way. My church rallied around me. Even my estranged family made several attempts to get hold of me, once they’d heard.
I feel so blessed to be back. It was my choice, literally. There were a few points during the whole experience when I really could have gone either way, and I CHOSE LIFE. I laugh at myself now and wonder what the hell I was thinking sometimes, but I still so feel like I kicked death to the curb, at least for now.
As it is, I’m ridiculously weak, so I’m going to sign off for now. The next step: who the hell am I now? I don’t know. I don’t recognize me, my body, or my brain. Weird.